(Eventually) – The one who was no longer haunted –

1. Anthony

15:47 . Yes, I was always ok with the rules. No, I was not always disciplined.
I remember when I started to work as a trainee here – how relieved I was to have to be at work at certain hours, that I could afford to create mess around me. How was I creating a mess? Well, by not being disciplined.
Eventually I found out that in order to be free, one needs order. There is no freedom in letting things go – since things end up flying back at your face. This ‘je m’en foutisme and leaving things till tomorrow or till a better time’ – is what creates thoughts that eventually come back, haunting you. So if you want to be free, for as far as one can be free – it is by organising this freedom.
That feels like a contradiction but it is not. I have this long list of things to do, that I carry everywhere. In a sense I carry with me a certain stress. Yet, I don’t have to do everything I think I have to do. I just don’t like to be haunted by things .
Of course, freedom can mean losing control, but one should know when to lose it. That is like drinking : you should know how to lose control over things, feel free but never lose control of yourself.
I am now reasonably good at not creating a mess. I’m still not very good at it – but I try. I’ve got two children who had to grow up and answer these same questions. One of them is having a very organised life, works at art gallery, she loves it – and the other one is more into music and he even has a band – he’s a star but not a rock star yet! Thankfully he stays away from the possible lifestyle that goes with this: alcohol, drugs. I think he’s organised?
I should have a discussion with him.
I found out also that being good and organised in what you do – is the best way to advance. You just do your work, you discipline yourself to be your best self. Eventually, you get there.
I don’t have to thank anybody for where I am now.
– Are there people who don’t like me? I hope so. Otherwise it would mean I accept too much.

1. Ton Insta story

16:13 . – What do I believe in? – The European project.

Anthony is the deputy secretary general of a political group at the European Parliament.

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